Rethinking “Obedience”: Why I Teach Life Skills Instead

For decades, dog training has been framed around the word obedience. It’s a term that carries heavy baggage, rooted in military drills, rigid hierarchy, and the idea that dogs must comply without question.

Gibson Walking

To me, obedience feels outdated. It suggests control, pressure, and a one-way relationship where the human commands and the dog simply obeys.

But dogs aren’t soldiers. They’re companions, family members, and individuals with their own needs, emotions, and quirks. That’s why I prefer to talk about life skills.

Life skills are progressive. They’re about equipping dogs with tools to thrive in our human world, while building confidence, trust, and partnership. They sound more successful because they are, they focus on real-life situations, not abstract drills.

The Life Skills I Value Most

• Loose lead walking 

  Not marching to heel, but learning how to walk together in harmony. It’s about comfort, communication, and enjoying the journey side by side.

  
  

• Recall 

  Coming back when called isn’t about submission, it’s about safety, joy, and the freedom to explore knowing you can reconnect.

  
  

• Impulse control 

  Waiting at the door, resisting the urge to snatch food, or pausing before chasing wildlife. These skills help dogs navigate a world full of temptations and challenges.

  
  

• Doing nothing 

  My personal favourite. Teaching dogs to relax, settle, and simply be. It’s a skill that supports emotional regulation, reduces anxiety, and makes life calmer for everyone.

Dexter Recall

Beyond the Basics

Life skills extend far beyond these four. They include:

• Confidence around novelty: Meeting new people, encountering strange objects, or hearing unexpected sounds without fear.

• Social etiquette: Greeting politely, respecting space, and learning when play is welcome (and when it’s not).

• Resilience: Coping with change, bouncing back from mistakes, and finding security in partnership.

• Communication: Understanding cues, but also being heard, dogs expressing needs and humans listening.

  
  

Why This Matters

When we shift from obedience to life skills, we change the narrative. Training becomes less about control and more about collaboration. Success isn’t measured by how quickly a dog sits on cue, but by how confidently they navigate everyday life.

It’s progressive, humane, and inclusive. It celebrates imperfection, values progress over perfection, and recognises that both dogs and humans are learning together.